My Taboo Confession: I Don’t Meditate

My Taboo Confession: I Don’t Meditate

These days, meditation is almost REQUIRED. And people get really offended (and sometimes even disgusted) when I say I don’t do it. I do yoga, and after 15 years at it, I’m pretty good. But meditation? Nope.

Sometimes people just aren’t ready to hear your message.

Maybe you want to help your friend finally start dating again after being single for what seems to be too long and you tell him he might want to think about ditching the white athletic socks he’s been sporting with his penny loafers (c’mon, you know who you are…) and he says: “Bro, she should appreciate me for who I am!” #NotReady.

Maybe you decide you want to help your bestie loose the extra 20 lbs., and you tell her you’ll make a pact to go to the gym and eat healthy together and she responds: “Oh, whatever … it won’t work and anyway, my family is just big boned!” #NotReady.

Or your friend is stuck in the all too common mid-career spiral of doom, struggling with soul roasting corporate politics and a boss she doesn’t respect and you ask her how things are going and she says: “Ahhh, I don’t feel like I have any transferrable skills but I’m figuring it out… “ #NotReady.

That’s totally cool. When you’re ready, you’ll be ready. Maybe someday I’ll be ready to meditate. But right now, I’m not interested. #NotReady

It’s healthy to be open to new ways to spark personal innovation and change, but I don’t think the secret necessarily resides what works for others … like green smoothies or a vision board or yeah, meditation … maybe the idea is interesting or even compelling, but mindsets or what works for one just doesn’t work for all.

What’s been my experience is that when a change is born — a real change, a commitment to make change — the pain has to be so bad, that you just can’t stand it one more day. Then, you’ll be ready to make your move. Then, if you need support, you will seek it to equip yourself to successfully transition to get what you want — even if you’re unclear as to what that actually might be.

Imagery works for me. I have a love and loathe relationship with New York City. I’ve lived here for almost 30 years. I’ve raised my kids here. I used to thrive off the chaos and the intrigue and fascination of the masses of humanity. Now that all just seems annoying. I’m getting older, true and I’m also getting closer to wanting a different day-to-day.

I want a log cabin in Jackson Hole. After spending the past several winters in the Tetons, the place has crept into my soul. I see it in my eyes everyday. I see it in great detail. I see the view out my windows. I see my gardens. I see my cool collection of unique furnishings comfortably arranged in my big open living room. I see the Teton vistas and the lush greenery everywhere I look in the summer as I hike Jenny Lake… and in the winter I see myself in the gondola, nose-to-nose with 100 crazy ski fanatics ready to shred Rendezvous Bowl. I’m a bit of a thrill seeker that way. #Ready

Why do I practice imagery? Because nobody is going to drop my Jackson Hole, Wyoming dreamy-log-cabin-coolest-place-on-earth off to me at the door of my New York City apartment. If I want it, I have to see it and envision it every single day of my life. I have to go after it. And if I do, I will get it. I will create it. I will be successful in my quest.

This practice has worked for me to create and realize everything I’ve ever wanted. Nothing can be left to chance. So, however you’re successful at creating the change you wish to realize, that’s the method you should put in play.

But, some people are just not ready. That’s fine — it’s their life.

It’s insanely difficult to compel others to make even a small change in their lives. But it only takes a small change in your views, beliefs, or practices, to realize massive results in your own life. For me it’s not a deep state of meditation (not yet anyway)… it’s just seeing it in my eyes every morning.

How badly do you want to make change? What is it that you really desire? Is it your relationships? Is it your health and lifestyle? Is it transitioning to an awesome job and career that you can’t wait to get to everyday?

It’s never too late or too hard … all it takes is being authentic and true to what you really want. And then make the decision, hit GO, and add in some grit.

No excuses. Just get on with it. (When you’ve had enough of the status quo, that is.)

— published in LinkedIn, June 20, 2017